[66] A Lucrative Enterprise?

If I were going into business here in Australia, and if I knew anything about cars, I would go into the business of supplying and fitting brake pads to Australia’s millions of drivers.

I would be a millionaire in no time.

I have been studying the habits of Aussie drivers very closely, especially at traffic lights and in traffic jams. You see, there are two motor vehicle accessories that Aussie drivers do not know exist. One is the blinker – indicator to my UK readers – and the other is, the hand-brake.

The problems surrounding the misuse, or non-use of blinkers are self-explanatory, so I shall concentrate on the hand-brake.

When Australian drivers, male and female, stop at traffic lights or in a heavy traffic jam, they always insist on sitting there with their foot on the brake, rather than engaging the hand-brake. I could see the point if the driver knows he or she is going to be stationary for only a few seconds, but no, they do it for minutes on end.

What is even more absurd is that they leave their foot on the foot-brake even when they are on a flat surface and there is no possibility of the vehicle rolling, forward or backward. What all this unnecessary use of the foot-brake does to the wear and tear of the brake pads is anybody’s guess, but I am sure that Australian drivers must spend more on brake pads than any other drivers on the planet, hence my lucrative business idea.

Another annoying thing about Australian drivers is, why do they always insist on using the brakes to slow themselves down on a long stretch of road when they see a speed reduction sign about a hundred metres ahead? Have you Australian drivers never heard of the simple practice of reducing your speed gradually over a reasonable distance by simply . . . er . . . wait for it . . . taking your foot off the gas?

I am travelling along behind an Australian driver in the morning on my way to the office. There is a slip road exiting the motorway to the left. The slip road runs for a full kilometre before it hits traffic lights. About half a kilometre in, there is a bend which is fronted by a sign advising a safe speed limit of 60kph. I exit the Motorway on or just under the 100kph limit. I know there is a bend about half a kilometre in, so I take my foot off the gas and allow my car to gradually slow down naturally and, well bless my soul – when I reach the bend, I am travelling at 60kph without having troubled the brakes. That is all well and good, except when there is another driver not too far in front of me on the slip road. He or she, as soon as they cross the dotted line into the slip road, without using the blinker I might add, immediately apply their brakes – and there is no other car in front of them – to bring their car from 100kph to 60kph over a distance of 50 metres, forcing me to apply my brakes to stop from crashing into them.

Even driving along the busy motorway in the morning or evening rush hour, I maintain a safe distance and, when I need to slow the car to maintain a safe distance, I simply take my foot off the gas, and apply it again when it is safe to increase my speed. When I look at other drivers around me though, all I see is vehicles travelling at 110kph and more, constantly braking to avoid hitting the car in front. I have seen cars whose red brake lights flash on and off constantly over many kilometres.

All of which are adequate reasons for believing that the supply and fitting of brake pads would be a money-spinning enterprise here in Australia.