Books, Poetry & Prose
Lend me fifty bucks
[5] Deep-Fried Madness
On a recent shopping trip to Brisbane with Kerrianne, we bought an atlas for her daughter. On the train home, I passed the time by reading the atlas. Each country had a narrative describing its culture, people and customs, as well as the occasional quaint fact. I read the quaint fact about Scotland and nearly fell out of my seat.
"Scotland has the worst diet of any developed country in the western world, and the highest incidence of heart disease," it said.
One delicacy is the deep-fried chocolate bar, covered in a protective layer of batter, and favoured by the nation's school children."
"Who writes this garbage?" I groaned.
Kerrianne grabbed the volume, eager to read the text which had so upset me.
"Yes I remember that on television," she said.
I sat in silence and allowed my outrage to subside. I recalled the TV reports on both Scotland Today and Reporting Scotland, when reporters visited Scottish towns to cover the phenomenon of the "deep-fried Mars bar".
The chip shop owner was interviewed in a humorous vein. School pupils were filmed on their lunch break as they devoured their favourite snack and announced that it tasted "pure dead brilliant".
The reporter performed the obligatory tasting. "Mmmm," he gushed. "It's not bad. Not bad at all."
"This report you saw on TV," I asked my wife. "Was it filmed from Scotland?"
"Sure," she said. "They were inside a food shop talking to the owner and some school kids."
Why, oh why, does the Scottish media feel compelled to report these types of stories with such a light-hearted and 'wha's like us' slant? Is it any wonder that Scotland has such an appalling worldwide reputation for poor health and diet when, instead of condemning such harmful fare being offered up to our children, our television companies treat it as a "fun item" to be broadcast at the end of the programme.
When Celtic's Japanese star Shunsuke Nakamura arrived in Scotland and was being interviewed by a posse of reporters, one hack asked, amid much merriment from his fellow scribes, "Have you sampled a deep-fried Mars bar yet?"
Some may think I should chill out and see the lighter side, but when you read this sort of stuff about your own country from the other side of the world, it just ain't funny.
"Scotland has the worst diet of any developed country in the western world, and the highest incidence of heart disease," it said.
One delicacy is the deep-fried chocolate bar, covered in a protective layer of batter, and favoured by the nation's school children."
"Who writes this garbage?" I groaned.
Kerrianne grabbed the volume, eager to read the text which had so upset me.
"Yes I remember that on television," she said.
I sat in silence and allowed my outrage to subside. I recalled the TV reports on both Scotland Today and Reporting Scotland, when reporters visited Scottish towns to cover the phenomenon of the "deep-fried Mars bar".
The chip shop owner was interviewed in a humorous vein. School pupils were filmed on their lunch break as they devoured their favourite snack and announced that it tasted "pure dead brilliant".
The reporter performed the obligatory tasting. "Mmmm," he gushed. "It's not bad. Not bad at all."
"This report you saw on TV," I asked my wife. "Was it filmed from Scotland?"
"Sure," she said. "They were inside a food shop talking to the owner and some school kids."
Why, oh why, does the Scottish media feel compelled to report these types of stories with such a light-hearted and 'wha's like us' slant? Is it any wonder that Scotland has such an appalling worldwide reputation for poor health and diet when, instead of condemning such harmful fare being offered up to our children, our television companies treat it as a "fun item" to be broadcast at the end of the programme.
When Celtic's Japanese star Shunsuke Nakamura arrived in Scotland and was being interviewed by a posse of reporters, one hack asked, amid much merriment from his fellow scribes, "Have you sampled a deep-fried Mars bar yet?"
Some may think I should chill out and see the lighter side, but when you read this sort of stuff about your own country from the other side of the world, it just ain't funny.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home