[62] It's A Girl Thing

This morning I decided to forego the usual packed lunch and, as it was Friday, I would break with tradition and treat myself to a lunch away from the office.

“Where will you go?” asked Kerrianne.

“I fancy a Subway,” I replied after some consideration.

When lunchtime arrived, I had finally decided to gorge myself, not on a healthy Subway meal, but a good old-fashioned helping of Fish and Chips. I know, I know. But it is only once in a blue moon. So I jumped in the car and, within fifteen or twenty minutes, I was enjoying my greasy, fat-inducing lunch. My telephone rang.

“Are you at lunch?” said Kerrianne, obviously aware that I was chewing while I was talking.

“Yes,” I replied. “I am sitting here enjoying a nice Fish and Chips.”

“I thought you were having a Subway?”

Why do women do that? And in my experience, it is only women who do that. Not all women, let me add, but most women. Or a lot of women. Ok, some women. At least we men, when talking about female traits, talk about “some women” or “a lot of women”. We seldom say “all women”. Whenever women get together and discuss men, they always talk about “it’s a man thing” or “it’s a boy thing”. You never hear a woman say, “Some men are like that.”

But I digress.

Why do women always – sorry, often – question men whenever they do a simple little thing like, er, changing their minds?

Now I could understand if the question was, “I thought you said you were never going to stick pins in your eyes ever again.” But invariably, the question surrounds the most trivial of matters. If your wife or girlfriend, or even your mother or sister, asks you, “Which tie are you wearing to the wedding tomorrow?” and you reply, “The red one with the grey spots” and you finally decide on the blue silk tie with the yellow pattern, rest assured your wife, girlfriend, mother, sister will say, “I thought you were going to wear the red one with the grey spots.”

In fact, it isn’t even a question. It’s a statement. She is telling you what she thought. Ok, what she really means is “Why did you change your mind?” But that is not what she said. So why do women find it such a big issue when we men change our minds about little things? I have a theory. I believe it is because women generally like to have everything planned and laid out in their minds well in advance, like tie selection and type of lunch. As a result, we men, who are more spontaneous and are happy to decide when the time comes, are forced into giving an answer long before we have even thought about it. So when lunchtime arrives, or the morning of the family wedding is upon us, we make our choice, and the womenfolk demand an explanation for the apparent change of mind.

Recently, Kerrianne said to me, “I thought you were having the steak.”

I just smiled and carried on eating.

“Ok just ignore me,” she protested.

“I am not ignoring you. I heard what you said.”

“But you didn’t answer.”

“You didn’t ask me a question. You told me you thought I was having the steak, but as you can see, I am having the Veal Cutlet. So I think it is fair to say, I changed my mind.”

Well, it was her fault for asking me what I was having long before we had even entered the restaurant.

Anyway, I thought you said you weren’t going to read my blog any more.