[65] To A Fart

Once I met a lovely lass
A Sheila from Down Under
Sexy legs and a gorgeous ass
And hair like rolling thunder

Kezza quickly won my heart
And let me share her bed
Until I dropped a rasping fart
And almost knocked her dead

The stench enough to kill a yak
And put you off your dinner
She shouted as she turned her back
Dogs wouldn’t roll in yer

Every minute of every day
My arse had Kezza weeping
And no escape it’s sad to say
It worked while I was sleeping

In a lift or crowded stores
To Kerry it was no laugh
For even as she washed her pores
I exploded in the bath

So here I am alone again
Saddened at our parting
Cos Kezza could not stand the pain
And divorced me for my farting

Thomas (sniff)